Lessons I learned from my divorce
Divorce is one of the most painful transitions a person can walk through. It tests your spirit, your ego, your patience, and your values—especially when children are involved. I am far from perfect, but I’m proud of the spiritual choices I continue to make during and after my divorce. They’ve helped guide our family into a dynamic of respect and, more importantly, one of ongoing healing.
Here are the spiritual commitments that have shaped my path:
1. Honor Your Desires
For years, I rejected my own desires. I thought suppressing them was the noble thing to do—easier than “rocking the boat.” But over time, my silence turned into resentment. That wasn’t fair to me, my partner, or our family. The truth is, our desires exist for a reason. They point us toward our soul’s purpose. Ignoring them doesn't make us selfless—it makes us spiritually stagnant. I’ve learned to honor my desires with courage, even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s a gift not only to myself, but to those around me.
2. Have Compassion for the Other’s Process
In any close relationship, especially one with shared history, it’s easy to fall into a mindset of blame or victimhood. But I’ve found that when I enter conversations with humility and compassion—truly seeking to understand rather than to be understood—the outcome is always more peaceful and constructive. This choice, while not always easy, has served me again and again.
3. Seek the Win-Win
It’s tempting to default into patterns: either constantly giving in to avoid conflict, or pushing to get our way in the name of “honesty.” But neither extreme serves anyone. The spiritual path calls us to expand beyond either/or thinking. I try to approach communication with curiosity, looking for solutions that honor both of our truths. When both people feel heard, healing can happen—even if the relationship looks different than it once did.
4. Ask the Creator to Speak Through You
There have been countless moments where I had no idea what to say. In confrontation, in co-parenting, even in moments of silence—it’s not always clear what is helpful or necessary. I’ve learned to pause and ask the Creator to speak through me. Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is say nothing at all. Other times, the words you never would have chosen yourself come with clarity and grace. This surrender continues to teach me the power of divine partnership.
5. Fight for Unity
This one is daily. Moment to moment. Every time I want to vent, judge, or control, I remember that unity is the highest goal. Unity doesn’t mean agreeing on everything. It means choosing love over division. Choosing dignity over gossip. Choosing healing over being right. This isn’t a one-time choice—it’s a fight, a spiritual discipline, and one that I recommit to again and again.
Divorce doesn’t have to destroy your family’s spirit. With intention, humility, and a deep connection to the Creator, it can become a doorway to something more conscious and compassionate than you imagined. If you're navigating your own separation or transformation, know that it’s not about perfection—it’s about continued effort, and the spiritual choices that bring peace, even in the hardest moments.
Relationships are challenging—and that’s by design.
It’s through these challenges that we access the deepest rewards. When we choose to grow and lean on the Creator, we’re empowered to hold space, share authentically, and love unconditionally. If you’re seeking support or guidance on your own path, I invite you to reach out. Together, we can explore whether I can be of service to you on your journey.
