Showing Up Full for the Holidays With the Family
How to stay grounded, intentional, and in your power- no matter what dynamics unfold.
Take a minute and imagine your holiday gathering…
What did you see? Was it a joyful family chatting around a gorgeous table? Was it your mom complaining in a messy house, waiting for the appropriate time to bow out and go home? Maybe some mix of the two.
Family gatherings can be joyous or overwhelming, but one thing is for sure- you CAN and MUST prepare your body, mind, and spirit so you can make the most of this day. (Not for your mom, not for your kids- for you.)
Start the Day Off Right
Starting the day fueled and intentional will allow you to show up as your best self for your holiday celebration. What makes you feel your best?
For me, my morning might look something like this:
Wake up at 7:30 a.m: not so early it feels like torture, and not so late that I lose motivation for a productive day.
Activate my body: stretch and walk around my suite to tell my body it’s go-time.
Start fresh: wash my hands, oil-pull, rinse my eyes, brush my hair, scrape my tongue, brush my teeth, and change into leggings and a crop top that double as workout clothes. A little makeup- enough to feel confident but still light enough to exercise in.
Take 10 minutes for gratitude, intention-setting, and planning my day. (I do this in my 40-Day Miracle Workbook.)
Workout - this is a MUST for a good day. If I’m home in Las Vegas, I’ll head to a barre, Pilates, or spin class. When I’m traveling for the holidays, I love a Melissa Wood Health class.
Then I get ready for the day, have a light healthy breakfast, and make a delicious drink—like stevia lemonade—to take with me… mmm.
Now… what does your perfect morning look like?
Imagine a morning so delightful and fueling that by the time you arrive at the family gathering, you’re energized, fulfilled, and simply there to share and make others feel good.
When you go in full, you don’t have expectations. You can come with a smile, help set the table, chat with Grandpa, laugh with nieces and nephews, and gracefully pivot the conversation when your brother tries to start a political debate.
More Ideas to Step In as Your Best Self
Meditate
Take a long walk
Listen to your favorite podcast
Journal
Envision and embody your highest self
Talk out loud to the Creator, the Universe, or your highest self- share your desires and invite support in manifesting them
Go In With a Plan AND Let Go of Expectations
When you go into a family gathering without a focus or intention, you become the effect
a leaf in the wind of the energy others have created.
So go in with an intention. Here are some you can use or let inspire your own:
I am going to be cheerful and helpful.
I am going to be curious and deepen my relationships.
I am going to express personal appreciation to each family member I talk to.
I am going to be so positive that everything that comes to me gets transmuted into light and joy.
I am going to be open and go with the flow, embracing ease and presence.
Once you’ve set your direction- your plan of attack- you become the leader, the influencer of energy, rather than a victim of the environment.
Then… let go of ANY expectations.
Even expectations of yourself.
Maybe the day will be blissful. Maybe it won’t. That’s not the point.
The point is: you have a family (whether blood or chosen), and that is a blessing. Many people are alone during the holidays. Even if you think you’d prefer that reality while your cousin is asking you for money and babies are screaming-
the truth is, loneliness is one of the most difficult feelings.
Having people around you- even imperfect ones—is a merit.
Letting go of expectations allows you to feel the joy of the present moment. The bliss that comes when you think of others, not yourself. It’s other-worldly when you step into this reality. You become the giver, not the taker. You become like God- and the power you embody in that state is euphoric.
Also, let go of perfection for yourself.
If you forget your intention, lose your temper, or catch yourself daydreaming about leaving… it’s perfectly fine. More than fine- it’s a chance to catch yourself and return to the present.
You may have even been meant to lose your temper so you can model humility and self-forgiveness by apologizing and moving on without shame.
What to Do If the Drama Starts
First off, remember: preparation is key.
When you come in full and happy, you will navigate everything more gracefully than if you come in tired or needy.
Some tricks I use if someone is passive-aggressive, competitive, or antagonistic:
1. Laugh it off and act like it was a joke.
Only if this won’t further aggravate them, of course.
It’s a kind way to give their comment no energy while offering them an “out” if they recognize their own shortcoming.
2. Show empathy — real empathy.
Not the kind you weaponize to belittle someone.
Example:
Imagine your mom criticizes how you’re dressed.
Reaction A:
“I'm sorry you don’t feel confident in your body. That must be hard.”
Reaction B:
“You know what? When I was getting dressed this morning, I wondered if this outfit might be too much. But then I stopped myself and said, ‘Wear what you want!’”
Which creates connection?
Reaction B.
You’re not insulting her; you’re relating to her critique and sharing your inner process with lightness. You might even inspire her to wear what she wants, too.
3. Stand up for the truth — only if needed
This one sounds empowering, but it MUST (I repeat, MUST) be done with care, detachment, and humility.
If the environment becomes toxic or harmful, clear, respectful boundaries may be necessary- ideally without blowing up the holiday dinner.
Here’s how to do it responsibly:
Breathe before you speak. Ground yourself.
Check your intentions. If you feel defensive or like you “have to” prove something, pause.
Speak simply and with love. Share how something makes you feel, not what you think you know. Debates about thoughts are endless; feelings are undeniable.
Disclaimer:
Stay grounded. If you feel yourself losing control, pause and say a quick internal prayer that your words come from love, not ego.
In the end, your holiday experience isn’t determined by your family — it’s shaped by you.
When you start the day full, aligned, and grounded, and you walk into any environment with intention,
you become the leader of the atmosphere rather than a bystander of it.
You don’t need perfection.
You don’t need everyone to behave.
You just need a plan, an intention, and the willingness to return to yourself when things get messy.
Show up full.
Stay grateful.
Release expectations.
And remember: even the imperfect moments are part of the miracle of having people to love.
